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Diagnosed With Herpes – Is It Your Partners Fault? It May Not Be?

Your positive herpes test report caused havoc in your life. Is it your fault? Was your partner responsible? You suffered your first herpes outbreak, which you assume to have got from your partner. Other thoughts that pass your mind – ‘Did your partner cheat on you’, as you just got diagnosed with an infection.

Answers to the delusion

In several cases, the belief is true as people can possibly lie about their genital issues and cheat their partners. The possibility that your partner may be ignorant about his/her herpes, so there is no question about cheating you. Herpes sometimes has no symptoms, so the only way to find you have is to get screened at the local STD testing clinics. So, if your partner says they were not aware they had herpes may be true as it can be diagnosed only after screening.

Your hypothesis that your partner cheated then here to there are some possibilities. As herpes is asymptomatic the infection gets spread at certain times and not every time. It means virus transmission in a sexual relationship can happen one night and then stay dormant for some time or years till it gets reactivated.

Discuss with your partner


Obviously, you are upset with the fresh news about your herpes outbreak. You may feel embarrassed or ashamed or ruined as social stigma surrounds this disease. Discuss this diagnosis with your partner calmly without any kind of accusations. Your partner is probably unaware that they are already infected.

For this reason, pre-relationship discussion regarding the sexual history and safe sex is a great idea. Screening is not performed to weed out possible partners but is a way to make an informed decision regarding sexual risk. It saves you from regretting later!

Visit your doctor instantly

As it is your first herpes outbreak, prolonged symptoms can be caused even if the situation is not that bad. Doctors will prescribe an antiviral regimen for symptom management, so call them and get started as soon as possible.

It is fine

Being diagnosed positive for the first herpes outbreak does not mean you lost every joy in life. It can be hard to live with herpes physically and emotionally. However, you can live happily with the virus.

Now, you may feel it hard to digest but it does not mean an end of your love life. Never let someone else convince you differently!

Diagnosed with genital herpes does not mean you stick to an unhealthy or bad relationship. If your partner puts pressure saying that now you are infected no one will wish to have a relationship with you, then it is not true. Such implied threats are a sign that your relationship is turning abusive.

In such situations, contact local counseling services you trust or contact the domestic abuse hotline.

It is also a fact that some people will not be able to see past positive genital herpes diagnosis, while several people living with infections have discovered love. You can, there is HOPE!